The Banana Peel Project

I think I may have finally come up with a single-sentence summary of Marx’s theory of history.  I wonder how many thoughts, calories, and stress-units I’ve invested in producing this sentence.  In neural firings per line, I bet this is one of the most valuable sentences I’ve ever seen.

Modes of production derived from earlier forms (i.e., capital) give rise to new social relations (i.e., bourgeois society) and new kinds of social consciousness (i.e., class) which reveal the contradictions (i.e., inequality) inherent in those new social relations and produce a new synthetic whole (i.e., a global proletarian revolution). Ha!

And yes, I left the last word in my paper.

So, do I have any challengers?  Is anyone dorkier than I?  Can anyone else do it better in one sentence?  No colons, semicolons, dashes, or run-ons allowed.